Josh Jenkins’ value plummets as AFL rule against extending size of goal square


Adelaide Crows key forward Josh ‘Big Daddy’ Jenkins has seen his contract value greatly diminished today as the AFL announced it would not be pursuing changes to expand the size of the goal square. 

Jenkins, who’s skill, speed and footballing nous often result in him being uncontested in the goal square was coming to grips with the news when he spoke with the Journal.

“This is a blow fellas. I feel like *insert American sporting player* when they *insert American sporting anecdote.*”

Often maligned for his over the back goals, Jenkins found career form in 2018 and became known around the league as a contested beast.

“I just had to channel my inner Marshawn Lynch. Beast Mode! You guys know anything about NFL? Come over to my place anytime I will step you through it inch by inch.”

When queried as to whether the decision would bring an early end to his AFL career, Jenkins was circumspect.

“I hope not, but if it does then I’ll be fine. I’ve already stitched up a gig as a commentator on a middling Australin NFL podcast.”

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