Defence Force Chiefs Meet with David Mackay to Discuss How Such a Weapon Can Float Under the Radar


The Chiefs of the Australian Military have met today with veteran Crow, David Mackay, to discuss how he has managed to float under their radar.

Speaking today from the Osbourne Naval Shipyard, Army Chief, Lieutenant General Richard Burr explained how the advanced technology could help protect Australians.

“A weapon like David should have been picked up on our defence radar, but somehow he has managed to avoid it.’

“We suspect he’s created some kind of masking or camouflage technology and we want in. North Korea has been working on this tech for years and we’ve had it in West Lakes for the last decade.”

“This weapon is precise, it’s compact, it can travel at tremendous speed and has never been noticed by anyone outside of Adelaide.”

However, Mackay says that he just plays his role and doesn’t get distracted by the media or seek personal attention to build his profile. “There’s players like Dangerfield, Tom Hawkins, Tom Jonas, James Sicily – they try and make it all about themselves as individuals. They parade around seeking attention for everything they do.”

“Not me. My mantra is play the role in the team you’re given and do it well. I keep my head down and my bum up. I’m a footballer and don’t exert any effort on anything else, except being a good father and a loving husband of course.”

“I don’t have any social media accounts and I’d never bloody go on a footy talk show. I play footy, I’m not a hack hoping to get on Australian Survivor next year, although Australian Survivor is pretty lit.”

“My one regret is my blonde hair, it makes me stand out too much, I should’ve transitioned to a neutral brunette years ago.”

Mackay’s ability to float beneath the radar comes from his quiet achiever mentality and the fans love him for it.

“Ohhhh I just love D-Mac,” said die-hard crows fan, Ainslie Pick.

“He’s a legend. He just plays his role and we love him for it.”

Mackay will play his 200th game against GWS this evening.

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