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Adelaide CBD burns as rioters protest Kyle Cheney’s one match suspension

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Premier Steven Marshall has declared a State of Emergency in South Australia as citizens take to the streets in protest of the AFL’s decision to suspend cult hero Kyle Cheney.

Cheney, who has been a shining light in defence for Adelaide this year, was suspended for rough conduct on an unknown Melbourne player despite a complete lack of evidence and understanding that the recipient was probably a lippy little prick and deserved what was coming to him.

The Journal spoke to one rioter, 26 year old Cameron Thorpe, who conveyed his anger.

“This isn’t just about the suspension. This is about the years that we’ve had to put up with Gil McLachlan’s shit. It’s about the VFL thinking that they can push us around as they please and it’s about the Chene Smoker still not being offered a contract beyond this year.

Adelaide Crows CEO Andrew Fagan encouraged the rioting taking place.

“This is the single biggest miscarriage of justice since the OJ case.”

“If you think I’m not about to go and loot half of the stores in Rundle Mall than you’re dumber than Sam McClure.”

At time of print, rioting had began to subside after the discovery of a dedicated Kyle Cheney Facebook Page – The Same Photo of Kyle Cheney Every Day.

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