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McClure: Richard Douglas wants to break his contract that he signed this morning

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Adelaide Crows midfielder Richard Douglas has sensationally requested a trade to the Calder Cannons Football Factory according to reports from highly insightful and respected journalist Sam McClure.

McClure, who will not reveal his sources, says that the trade may happen as soon as this week and may also include a deal to send Paul Seedsman back to Collingwood. McClure further reported that the Crows are facing the very real possibility of having zero players by Round 20.

“I’ve got some pretty good contacts in the club. While it’s true that I have no acquaintances outside my high school friendship group and have never been to Adelaide, I am the man that can break big stories,” McClure said. “Keep an eye out for my upcoming report about Adelaide’s involvement in the disappearance of MH370.”

McClure, who has long been suspected of being a Carlton mouthpiece, assured readers that his professionalism proves that he simply isn’t making rumours up to self promote his image and counter his crippling anxiety over his credibility in the media world.

“Mate, I shop at Tarocash, I’m on tv, I get sick haircuts, I break big news stories and my dad got me my job. I don’t need to compensate for anything.”

“Read my lips: Richie Douglas hates the Crows and so does everyone else.”

“Go Carlton.”

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