Crows release moderately good news to distract from disastrous, season defining other news

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The Crows media team are the best in the business. 

When they aren’t making funny Seinfeld videos and responding to various emails, they are working out how to manage the clubs external image.

That’s why, when confronted with the news that Brad Crouch would miss the rest of the season with ‘surgery awareness’, the Crows media team went into overdrive.

“We looked at our options” said Crows General Manager of Communications Ian Shuttleworth.

“We know that the only thing the fanbase hates more than injuries are players leaving the club, so we threw a few years at Darcy Fogarty. He was never a chance to leave anyway, so this will also give us a chance to think about how we are going to spin it when Tom Lynch packs his bags.”

Shuttleworth and his team say the social media feedback has been very positive.

“People love the Fog. Did you ever see that idiot who purchased a custom pair of Darcy Fogarty socks? I’ve never seen a bloke with Crouch socks. He’s been out of the team so long that most of the newer fans don’t even know who he is.

When questioned what the club would do if the surgery was not a success, Shuttleworth was coy.

“It’ll be fine mate. We’ve got a few extra dollars in the kitty to throw at Mackay if things go south.”



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