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Australia reels from Banana shortage as Power fans stock up for Showdown XLIV

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Australians have been told to prepare for record high prices for the common household banana, as the country reels from a shortage as Port Adelaide fans prepare for the upcoming Showdown. 

Farmers in North Queensland have been unprepared for the incredible demand, which has seen an incredible increase since a Port Adelaide member threw a banana at Adelaide Crows star Eddie Betts in 2016.

Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull said that while the increase in demand was positive for the economy, he couldn’t condone the racially motivated reason for the purchasing behaviour.

“Look, we all know that Port Adelaide fans have a troubled history, and are over represented in our prisons. What I would advise is that they consider the nutritional benefits of eating the bananas they are buying. I know one fan has bought 100 bananas just to throw. The potassium levels in those bananas could help their muscle strength. Or their neural function. Lord knows they need that.”

The Journal understands that Port Adelaide officials have already drafted several media releases in preparation for the weekends game outlining how any offenders will be put through the Club’s ‘world leading’ Aboriginal programs.

More to come.

 

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