Breaking News

Don Pyke Includes Calligraphy Lessons in Preseason Training: “They’re all learning to sign their names”

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Adelaide Crows coach Don Pyke has taken the unorthodox approach of including calligraphy lessons in the teams preseason training schedule, resulting in a raft of contract renewals. 

The Crows this year have re-signed key players Matt Crouch, Rory Atkins, Jordan Gallucci and Brodie Smith, who signed with the club today.

Pyke explained the decision to the Journal.

“The club did an internal review and the feedback was that we have so many players leave because a lot of the guys don’t have the ability to write their own names.”

“It’s a quirk of South Australian law. In the eastern states, people who lack that capacity can nominate a proxy to sign for them. Jake Lever had BT sign for him.”

“Patrick Dangerfield the poor fella. He couldn’t look away from the mirror long enough to pick up a pen let alone sign his name.”

“We’ve asked the Government to consider changing the law, but they refuse. It’s a joke. Things like this are why we need Premier Xenophon.”

Pyke said the unorthodox move was paying dividends.

“Not only are we getting contracts signed off, but the fans are getting better quality autographs.”

Despite the positive results, Pyke explained that there was still room to improve.

“Sloaney is taking a lot longer than we expected to learn the required skills. It’s as if the pen is a tagger. I think he’s got a fear of ink.”

More to come.

 

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Categories: Breaking News

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